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Posted on Sep 19, 2012 in Dear Diary, Weigh Ins | 0 comments

Stress (Weigh-in)

I am stressed.

There are no two ways about it. Dealing with the actual events of last week (to refresh the memories of those who may not have tuned in, a bathroom in my house flooded into the kitchen below and my new car was hit twice — all within 24 hours), then the subsequent hours of dealing with all the various insurance companies, then dealing with all the work I’ve been missing in order to deal with the two aforementioned things… it is no bueno. Plus, my whiplash/soft tissue injuries from the accidents doesn’t make dealing with things any easier. I know that I’m getting through it — one step at a time and all that — but it’s all still a lot to deal with. And it’s stressful.

Surprising though it may be to hear, I don’t really handle stress all that well (ha!). My life is really not all that stressful most of the time, and I fully admit to that. I am no longer dealing with any financial crisis. I have a job that, while certainly not perfect, is at least not particularly demanding of me (usually). I have good friends, a supportive family, and a loving boyfriend. I have adorable schnauzers. All in all, I can’t really complain too much (I mean, I still DO complain, of course, but I really shouldn’t, hahaha). So when life throws me a curveball (or, you know, three), I’m not really too sure what to do with myself.

Normally, when I’m feeling a little worse for the wear, I try to treat myself. I try to get myself to take my mind off of things. I go get a pedicure. Or a massage. Or if things are really bad, I let myself loose in the Coach store. But this seems like a whole other ballgame, honestly, and I’m not sure it’s the kind of thing that a fresh coat of nail polish or a new purse (no matter how much I love the new Legacy Collection) will fix.

This stress is manifesting itself in emotional, mental, and physical ways. Allow me to elaborate.

Emotional: I am emotional. Well, okay, to be fair, I’m always emotional. But I mean, moreso than usual. My emotions are heightened to PMS levels, even though I’m not PMSing. I got choked up on a conference call with my boss yesterday afternoon. It is bad.

Mental: So last week I talked about how the week was causing me some serious backslide-like thoughts with regard to my binge eating disorder. But that’s not the only effect that all this stress has had on my thoughts. It has also been taking a serious toll on my sleep. Not only am I sleeping even more fitfully than normal, but what little sleep I do get is not restful. My dreams have been seriously whacked out lately. My head is plagued with scenes of serial killers and Hunger Games-style survival situations and dying family members and date rapists and… yeah, it’s messed up in there. A lot of horror, a lot of bad situations, and a lot of waking up in the middle of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep.

Physical: So this brings us to the physical element. Now, granted, part of the physical pains that I’m dealing with are residual effects of the soft tissue damage (or whatever the official terminology is) from the accidents. I have a prescription for muscle relaxers (that honestly don’t really seem to do anything) and just had my second session with a massage therapist yesterday. But my shoulders, neck, and back feel like they are in BAD shape. My therapist actually said she was really surprised how much more tight and tense I was this week in comparison to last week, which probably isn’t good. Especially since my doctor said that the soreness/pain would get worse through days 1 – 5, but then should get better after that. Not so much, it would seem.

In addition to that, I also am breaking out on my face. Not in pimples, but in tiny red hive-like bumps all over my cheeks. Super attractive. Oh, and last night I got so rapidly sick to my stomach that I threw up. Yeah. Something has got to give, and I’m kind of at a loss. I’m already getting massage as part of my injury treatment, but it’s not the relaxing, melt-away-your-stress kind of massage. It’s the other kind. The bad, but good, but bad kind.

Sigh.

I know it will get better. Things are moving and hopefully in a few more weeks I will be able to look at this time in my life and laugh… in a laughing-crying kind of way, probably. The contractor came over to the house to give us an estimate on home repairs this AM, and I also dropped my car off to get it fixed (it hit 1000 miles just as I was pulling into the parking lot of the body shop… sad). I have a schmancy-looking Camry to drive around in the meantime. Unfortunately, the car feels ENORMOUS compared to my Focus, and I am petrified that I am going to hit something (it’s very spacious inside, which translates into it being WIDE). Because I definitely needed MORE anxiety when getting behind the wheel, right? Hahaha… ha.

Well, as long as we’re talking about stressful things, I guess I might as well get my weigh-in out of the way, huh?

Starting Weight: 246 lbs
Last Weigh-in: 203.8 lbs
This Weigh-in: 202.8 lbs
Difference: -1.0 lbs

Hey, look at that! Another pound gone. Normally, I would almost definitely be upset at only having lost 1 pound in three weeks (my last weigh-in was August 30th), but given the circumstances… I will take it. My appetite has been really off lately too (I guess that should fit under the “physical” category. Or is it mental? or emotional?) and it feels like I’m ravenous or I literally cannot stomach the idea of eating. There is no in-between anymore. So frankly, the fact that I haven’t put 5 more pounds back on is real cause for celebration.

What are your tips for relieving stress? I’m honestly willing to try anything from aromatherapy to Xanax at this point.

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