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Posted on Aug 31, 2011 in Fail, Food | 54 comments

Epic Cookie Fail


I was really excited to kick off this Wednesday with a fantastic cookie recipe that would change your life. Not a health-food “cookie”, but a real, honest-to-goodness, made-with-butter-and-everything cookie that would make you the star of Labor Day parties country-wide.

Ingredients for Success

I was, in fact, so confident in this cookie that I even took the time to set up an Oh She Glows-style ingredient photoshoot.


It seems I should really stick to what I know.


I was convinced that I needed to share these cookies with the world after the success of my hurricane cookies (or not-success, depending on how you see my weigh-in, haha), for which I had used this recipe.


Except that recipe originally called for 6 DOZEN cookies (er, that’s 72 cookies, my friends) and, errrr, that’s a lot. Even for me. Plus, I wanted to make it my own. Put my own Gretchenesque-spin on things, y’know?

Bake me!

Weeeeeeeell, I guess that my, er, creative cooking approach does NOT lend itself well to baking. Turns out I was off on my ratio of dry-to-wet ingredients by a mere quarter-cup! Guess it was enough though:


Sigh. Flat as a board. NOT the full, round, chewy cookies I was supposed to pull out of the oven. I die. At least they still tasted great! Well, those that survived, that is…


They were so soft and thin, that most of them were completely obliterated in the process of removing them from the pan. It wasn’t a total loss though. I see many deliciously topped bowls of oatmeal in my not-so-distant-future.


Hopefully, despite the not-quite-intended-result, their deliciousness will still get me suck-up points with my coworkers, hehe.

Are you a cook or a baker? Any epic fails in experimenting with either?


  1. Any cookie is a good cookie in my book. I guess that’s why I don’t weigh myself at all 🙂
    And I’m totally going to attempt that hurricane cookie recipe…..right now!

  2. maybe you can press the cookies into a crust or something and make a pie?

    • I was thinking about that! If Ben hasn’t all the crumbs before I get back, maybe I’ll try that with the rejects. 🙂

  3. I think of myself as more of a cook, than a baker – but if you asked my friends and family, I’d probably land squarely in the middle of those two, oddly enough. I love how with cooking you can just wing it… sometimes it’s a win, and sometimes, not so much. Most of the time it’s just “so-so”. Good enough to eat and enjoy, but not recipe-worthy.
    With baking, it’s so much more scientific. A little deviation here or there – and FLOP. So I find baking infinitely more frustrating, I suppose.
    However, a big baking success that I have had in the past year, is coming up with amazing homemade dog treats. (!!) It took many trials and errors though. (And yes, I’ve eaten my fair share of these treats through the course of my trials). 🙂


    • Haha! I went through a phase where I was soooo into baking homemade dog treats — but my dogs aren’t big enough to warrant me doing it often, because they never can get through them all! I’m definitely going to have to try your recipe though — is it on your blog?

  4. I’m most definitely a cooker over a baker. Nothing comes out 100% right when I bake. #bakingfail

  5. Oh you poor thing – I feel your pain!

    I had a MAY-JUR meltdown a few Christmases ago when I messed up cut-out cookies…the snowmen looked like bloated turtles!

    I stick to what I know…chocolate-covered strawberries and oreo balls! 😉

    • Mmmm… chocolate covered anything….

  6. flat cookies are my FAV. HAHA

  7. I’m BOTH! I love cooking and baking. But the reason I’m a good cook is the reason I’m sometimes a failed baker. In other words I like experimenting too.

    But my major fail moment was not a failed experiment, it was lack of experience. I was baking pies and did not know about that whole “set up” thing and tried to take the hot pie, in a flimsy tin pan, directly out of the oven and off the cookie sheet it was on. I had a floor full of hot pumpkin pie 🙁 and the best part … it was thanksgiving … So those cookies look PERFECT to me 😀

    • My last REALLY epic fail was trying to do a lemon meringue pie for last Thanksgiving and I had a similar problem. Why do the holidays always make us so ambitious? Hahaha

  8. You put a cookie in front of me that looks THAT good and I’d eat it ASAP! I think it was a total success :p lol

    • Well there aren’t any left in the office, so I think my coworkers would agree. Still, I know I can do better…!!

  9. A post entitled “Epic Cookie” is the easiest way to get my attention. We’re talking here about the girl who dreamt of the most perfect cookie and was haunted by it for weeks.

    I can’t say that I’m a baker. The only time I really bake is during the holidays (so many cakes and cookies). The exception, when I’m really stressed, I make a pie. I can’t explain it, it’s just relaxing. Plus, having my apartment smell like pie for a day after is always a bonus.

    • Hahaha, we can just ignore the “fail” part of the title. 😛 I’m a terribly Piemaker. Which is heartbreaking to me, because of how much I love Pushing Daisies and, er, The Piemaker.

      • When I come down to visit you (because let’s face it, it’s going to happen) we shall partake in piemaking. I’ll bring both my super awesome pear and pineapple-coconut pie recipes with me.

  10. Pretty much everything that I’ve tried to bake has turned into an epic fail. I’m definitely not at the point where I can put together my own recipes, especially cookie ones.

    • I wish I could have taken baking math instead of MATH 103 as my gen ed in college. Would have been SO much more useful.

  11. I prefer baking over cooking — I love having the house smell like cookies or bread or cake!

    I love the photos you took — very OSG 🙂

    And I think those cookies should be crumbled up, topped with milk and eaten like cereal. Homemade Cookie Crisp!

    • A girl after my own heart — that may or may not have been the very first thing I thought of… 😉

  12. I still think they look really pretty! I would crumble some into greek yogurt or on top of frozen yogurt! YUM!

    • Both of things are now going to happen. 😀

  13. I do remember one time, while I was still attending classes at JMU, I was having a very bad day and just figured I’d make a frozen lasagne. I hadn’t put it on a cookie sheet though, so when I took it out with the oven, the plastic bowed in and the entire thing fell to the floor. I only make my own lasagnas now in a glass dish…

  14. Gretchen!

    Try adding some baking powder next time-it’ll keep the cookies from spreading. 🙂 Also, have you ever tried adding vanilla pudding to chocolate chip cookies? Substitute it in with some of the butter-works surprisingly well.

    • This recipe actually does have pudding mix in it! Funny you say that! It doesn’t have baking powder though, just baking soda, so maybe that’s what I’ll have to try next time. Thanks!

  15. My cookies look like yours! LOL

  16. For the life of me, I cannot get the hang of yeast. Why won’t it rise for me?! So frustrating!

    • Oh gosh, bread making is a whole other beast I haven’t even dared to try tackling yet. I’m impressed that you even mess with the stuff! I wouldn’t know where to begin!

  17. I saw the title of this post in my reader and my heart dropped! Failed Cookies? I’m totally sad when cookies don’t work out. But when this happens to me I keep a few for crumbs in oatmeal and stuff. Just an idea. Hope your next batch is the BEST!

    • Oh, no cookie shall go to waste in this household, don’t you worry! 🙂

  18. Just came across your blog via A Girl And Her Mutt. LOVE IT! Just added it to my reader.

    So about those cookies, I made Angela’s (oh she glows) snickerdoodles one time and for some reason they just didn’t come out. My resolution? I ate the uncooked dough by the handful… hey vegan means no raw eggs! Not great for me but it seemed like brilliance at the time.

    • Thanks, Shannon! I would by lying if there already weren’t many a fingerful of cookie dough pilfered from the bowl, hehehe… it’s so goooood…

  19. I think I’m mediocre at both cooking and baking. I can follow a recipe just fine (mostly), but I can’t make anything up on my own. Your post did make me think of an epic fail that my mom made once in a birthday cake for me. Instead of vanilla extract she added peppermint extract. She tried to fix it by adding more vanilla, but it was still a very pepperminty cake. So gross! I get my cooking skills from her… I think I’m doomed. Thanks for more amusement today!

    • HAHAHAHA, thank YOU for the amusement that just came with that comment! Peppermint extract in a cake… bleghhhhh. Hilarious!

  20. I never do well when I attempt to modify recipes. I just don’t have the skills to know what I am doing. It’s lame, but I have to stick by the book.

  21. Cookie baking is an art, really. My mom makes, literaly, 12-15 different kinds of cookies every year for Christmas and it’s seriously something you just master. Me, on the other hand, have cookie fails all the time. It’s definitely the whole “wet-to dry” thing.

  22. Your photo shoot is gorgeous whereas my food pics always look dingy…maybe I should stop using my cellphone.

    But don’t worry, I have epic baking fails all the time. Like forgetting ingredients and adding random things that make no sense. I struggle with making the perfect cupcake even if I follow the directions exactly! But hey, what’s life without a little experimentation. I did sucessfully bake my first bundt cake today though 🙂

    • Whoo-hoo! And I feel the same way about experimenting. Messing with recipes is fun, even if the results aren’t always a total win.

  23. Ohhh I don’t think those are an EPIC fail. Especially if they taste yummy.
    I only consider something an epic fail in the kitchen if it’s completely inedible and has to be tossed. Some minor aesthetic and textural fail, perhaps. 😉

    I’m definitely a fan of cooking over baking. Too much science in baking, for me!

    • Okay, fair enough. But somehow “minor aesthetic and textural fail” doesn’t fall quite as nicely off the tongue, hahaha.

  24. When trying to make up a whole wheat/ coconut flour chocolate baked donut recipe I made three batches… and NONE worked! First was just heavy, and tried a different ratio… It was a little bit lighter but not chocolatey enough… last batch I made, and somehow forgot the sugar!! I wasted a LOT of $$ coconut flour, and Turbinado sugar… well except in the last batch 😛 I love that you still shared the recipe. It makes you more real… unlike my 3 garbage can batches that never made the blog!

    Good luck on your recommitment! I am in the same place after a summer of gaining back some of the weight I lost this spring… I feel like i keep losing the same lbs over and over… I am way better than the 255 that I once was… but so far from where I want to be!

  25. Awe! They still look yummy even though they are flat. One of the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever eaten in my life was so flat that the chocolate chips stood out like little nobs or something. But it was so delicious I didn’t care! Putting crumbly leftovers on your oatmeal is a great idea…I’ll have to remember that for sure!

  26. even though the cookies were flat I bet they were still edible! I bet you could crumble one into some ice cream or your oatmeal in the morning. (I never waste cookies haha)

  27. Have you tried refridgerating your dough for an hour or so before baking? It helps with that doughy center and crispy outside. Also, I’m new to your journal and LOVE your photography. You are very talented. What do you shoot with?

    • I never try that with anything other than sugar cookie dough, but I definitely will for the next time I experiment with my cookie-making skills. Thank you so much for your kind words! I shoot with a Canon Rebel XT and primarily use a 50mm f/1.8 lens. 🙂


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